Parashat Vayishlach | How to Plan for the Unexpected

In Sefer HaAgadah by Bialik and Ravnitski we find a passage from a midrash of the Lekah Tov[1] about this week’s reading from the Torah. “Then Jacob sent messengers ahead of himself to his brother Esau[2]” – said rabbi Yehonatan: anyone who wishes to placate a king or a government and does not know their ways and tactics – should turn to this passage and learn from it some trick of appeasement and service.[3]” Jacob directs quite a show before Esau. He prepares a parade of cattle, goats and camels, “Then he placed them in the care of his servants, every flock by itself, and said to his servants, ‘Pass on ahead of me, and put a space between flocks.’ And he commanded the one in front, saying, ‘When my brother Esau meets you and asks you, saying, ‘To whom do you belong, and where are you going, and to whom do these animals in front of you belong?’ then you shall say, ‘These belong to your servant Jacob; it is a gift sent to my lord Esau. And behold, he also is behind us.’’ Then he commanded also the second and the third, and all those who followed the flocks, saying, ‘In this way you shall speak to Esau when you find him’[4]”.

It is a simple idea. Jacob is trying to soften Esau’s heart. He knows well that there are some good reasons for Esau to have certain grievances with him and he must divert that anger in some constructive way. So rabbi Yehonatan explains that it is imperative to understand the soul so that one can anticipate how a person may react because of something that we do. When properly attended to, when we profoundly understand a situation, there may be a way to resolve a sticky issue. Possibly, it will be able to change the course of action that this person initially intended to take, diverting them to a preferable solution to a significant problem.

However, as good as such a solution may be and after Jacob prepares that great parade, and further has his family transferred to the other side of the river, “Jacob was left alone[5]”. After all the preparations, the grand plans, the big show with all its fine details, Jacob not only finds himself alone but suddenly “a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip; and the socket of Jacob’s hip was dislocated while he wrestled with him.[6]” This divine figure with whom Jacob wrestles all night then requests, “‘Let me go, for the dawn is breaking.’ But he said, ‘I will not let you go unless you bless me.’ So he said to him, ‘What is your name?’ And he said, ‘Jacob.’ Then he said, ‘Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel; for you have contended with God and with men, and have prevailed.’ And Jacob asked him and said, ‘Please tell me your name.’ But he said, ‘Why is it that you ask my name?’ And he blessed him there.[7]”

Think if this for a minute. From all the large camp that Jacob had there, that Jacob leads and navigates on their way back home, there was nobody to be there with him during those hours of struggle. He is separated from both camps that he devised, possible each camp thinking he is with the other camp. There, all by himself, Jacob needs to wrestle with the uncertainty of survival which becomes clear only at dawn. The insight to his new name, Israel, “for you have contended with God and with men, and have prevailed” crystalizes an important life teaching. In our lives, private or public, we find ourselves many times in situations where meticulous planning is needed because of an unavoidable problem ahead. Even with the most promising plan, it is impossible to plan for every eventuality, and at the end of the day, we will find ourselves struggling with some obstacle that comes from nowhere and seems to be able to destroy everything we planned for.

It is there, that place where we do not know exactly what is going on, where we cannot see for it is too dark, that we must have the best insights ever. We must fight even when we have lost almost all of our struggling powers, when there is no other solution but to try to hang on, another minute, another hour, until there is a glimpse of light on the horizon. Then, as that happens, “Jacob raised his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him.[8]” The panic of Jacob can be surely understood but he decides to run forward and stand before his camp. And a miracle happens, “Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.[9]”

The dawn of a new day brings new opportunities if we are willing to see them. We may even be pleasantly surprised if we know how to accept them. However, if we continue to keep our eyes shut, then it does not really matter if the sun shines and it is morning, we are still deep in the dark, But not more then a glimpse of light is needed to brush away the most dark of darkness. It is sometimes that we need to fight long enough so that we can see the first glimmer of light. That is why we read that “Jacob raised his eyes and looked.” We should too.

Shabbat Shalom and wishes for Good Health.

Reuven Marko, 19 November 2021, 16 Kislev, 5782

[1] Midrash Lekakh Tov, Rabbi Tuvia ben Eliezer of the 11th century [2] Genesis 32 4 [3] Sefer HaAgadah, Bialik & Ravnitski, 3rd edition, 36, 9, 76 [4] Genesis 32 16-19 [5] Genesis 32 24 [6] Genesis 32 24-25 [7] Genesis 32 26-29 [8] Genesis 33 1 [9] Genesis 33 4