Parashat VaYera | The Challenges of Making Decisions

Often do I hear the saying that “everything has to be done…” usually to achieve one goal or another that is deemed by the person saying the phrase as being a worthy cause. In fact, we ought to wonder about such sayings, but mostly we listen, possibly quietly agree, and then continue on with our lives. It is easy to agree as long as we are not the ones who have to pay the price, which is borne by someone else, someone unknown to us. How often do we hear that “the government should pay…” as if the government holds some wonderous source of money that does not include the uncontrolled printing of currency?

The negotiations held by Abraham with God about the fate of Sodom is that kind of a give-and-take haggle. It is an attempt to save a few righteous persons while in the process saving the lives of the wicked. The discussion is interesting. Abraham receives the word of what is going to happen, “The outcry of Sodom and Gomorrah is indeed great, and their sin is exceedingly grave.[1]” He is perplexed that something like that could take place, “Will You indeed sweep away the righteous with the wicked? Suppose there are fifty righteous people within the city; will You indeed sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous who are in it? Far be it from You to do such a thing, to kill the righteous with the wicked, so that the righteous and the wicked are treated alike. Far be it from You! Shall not the Judge of all the earth deal justly?[2]” However, even fifty such persons cannot be found so he continues his bazaar like bargaining, “‘Suppose the fifty righteous are lacking five, will You destroy the entire city because of five?’ And He said, ‘I will not destroy it if I find forty-five there.’[3]” Abraham continues his attempts to reduce the number of righteous people he needs to find and finally requests, “‘Oh may the Lord not be angry, and I shall speak only this once: suppose ten are found there?’ And He said, ‘I will not destroy it on account of the ten.’[4]”

That is the end of the road. Abraham has nothing more to add, “the Lord departed, and Abraham returned to his place.[5]” Abraham does not even attempt to do everything. He does not even request to spare the life of his brother Lot whom he knows lives in that area, the very same place that is to be completely destroyed. He simply comprehends that he has reached the end of his options in this round of negotiations and that there is nothing more that he can do. He understands he can do the maximum possible, maybe that little more, but that there is always a point where there is no more choice, and that it has to be left at that. True, there are some righteous people who are going to lose their lives. However, in the grand scheme of things and atrocities already happening in Sodom and Gamora, the weights may be such that this balance is better than many other less perfect options. That this particular option is the best of the worst.

Lot was saved not because of Abraham, rather, Lot saved himself. When the two traveling angels enter the city, he sees them and extends an invitation, “‘Now behold, my lords, please turn aside into your servant’s house, and spend the night, and wash your feet; then you may rise early and go on your way.’ They said, ‘No, but we shall spend the night in the public square.’ Yet he strongly urged them, so they turned aside to him and entered his house; and he prepared a feast for them and baked unleavened bread, and they ate.[6]” The people of the town, for whatever evil reason that they may have had, want to get hold of these guest but Lot fiercely defends them. It is only because of that hospitality that the angels inform, “A son-in-law and your sons and daughters, and whomever you have in the city, bring them out of the place; for we are about to destroy this place, because their outcry has become so great before the Lord that the Lord has sent us to destroy it.[7]” Nobody really wants to hear this kind of news. Lot certainly tries however, but eventually the angles “grasped his hand and the hand of his wife and the hands of his two daughters, because the compassion of the Lord was upon him; and they brought him out and put him outside the city.[8]” Lot, just like Abraham, does not do everything, he tries as much as possible, maybe even a little more than that, but eventually he stops.

In our lives we also have to always balance the opportunity with the risk, the cost against its benefit. It is not enough to utter the words “we have to do everything…” These are meaningless words, that border with being irresponsible. It may be when dealing with the price that is demanded for a release of a hostage, of the return of soldiers who have perished when defending the country. It may relate to the question of the budget allotted to new medications to be added into the new medication basket for a particular budget year, or the number of hours that kids will spend in school. It may involve questions about the defense measures that are provided to settlements at a hostile border, or the development of defense systems. All have to be carefully evaluated while fully understanding that each decision comes with its own price tag. Unfortunately, there are times that this price tags also means life, attaching a price tag to that which is priceless.

I certainly do hope that we do not have to face in our lives too many of these kids of decisions. These are way to difficult to deal with. In many other cases it is imperative that we take the time to seriously understand the various alternatives so that we can make the best possible decisions. Sometimes courageous decisions but always from the perspective that there is no such thing is “doing everything”.

Shabbat Shalom and wishes for good health,

Reuven Marko, 22 October 2021, 17 Mar-Chesvan, 5782

[1] Genesis 18 20 [2] Genesis 18 23-25 [3] Genesis 18 28 [4] Genesis 18 32 [5] Genesis 18 33 [6] Genesis 19 2-3 [7] Genesis 19 12-13 [8] Genesis 19 16