Parashat Toldot | On Respectable and Open Discourse

“…Isaac went to Gerar, to Abimelech king of the Philistines… When the men of the place asked about his wife, he said, ‘She is my sister,’ for he was afraid to say, ‘“my wife,’ thinking, ‘the men of the place might kill me on account of Rebekah, since she is beautiful.’ Now it came about, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked down through a window, and saw them, and behold, Isaac was caressing his wife Rebekah. Then Abimelech called Isaac and said, ‘Behold, she certainly is your wife! So how is it that you said, ‘She is my sister’?’ And Isaac said to him, ‘Because I thought, ‘otherwise I might be killed on account of her.’’ And Abimelech said, ‘What is this that you have done to us? One of the people might easily have slept with your wife, and you would have brought guilt upon us.’[1]” This must surely remind you of something we read about just recently.

Just two weeks ago we found an almost identical incident that happened to Abraham. “Now Abraham journeyed from there toward the land of the Negev, and settled between Kadesh and Shur; then he lived for a time in Gerar. And Abraham said of his wife Sarah, ‘She is my sister.’ So Abimelech king of Gerar sent men and took Sarah. But God came to Abimelech in a dream of the night, and said to him, ‘Behold, you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is married.' Now Abimelech had not come near her; and he said, ‘Lord, will You kill a nation, even though blameless? Did he himself not say to me, ‘She is my sister’? And she herself said, ‘He is my brother.’ In the integrity of my heart and the innocence of my hands I have done this.’[2]” Here too it is the king of Grar, and he is furious. “Then Abimelech called Abraham and said to him, ‘What have you done to us? And how have I sinned against you, that you have brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? You have done to me things that ought not to be done.’ And Abimelech said to Abraham, ‘What have you encountered, that you have done this thing?’[3]”

Abraham is worried for his life, and so is Isaac his son. Isaac also explains that concern by the claiming that in order to get possession of the woman the people would get rid of her husband. It is therefore that we read, “So Abimelech commanded all the people, saying, ‘He who touches this man or his wife will certainly be put to death.’[4]” It seems that Abimelech is concerned of the repeat of what had startled him in the first incident with Abraham. There he has a dream which is both a promise and a warning, “Yes, I know that in the integrity of your heart you have done this, and I also kept you from sinning against Me; therefore I did not let you touch her. Now then, return the man’s wife, for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you will live. But if you do not return her, know that you will certainly die, you and all who are yours.[5]”

When Abimelech questions Abraham on what he had done he receives this answer from Abraham, “Because I thought, surely there is no fear of God in this place[6]”. It is now clear that Grar as not morally improved since the time of Abraham and Sarah, and that Isaac and Rebecca had the same kind of fear. The problem being simple, there was “no fear of God in this place”.

It was more than upsetting to hear MK Gafni leash uncontrollably his tongue, harshly attacking prime minister Benet. Regardless of if he agrees or disagrees with the prime minister’s positions, his attack language was uncalled for and should be unequivocally condemned. There is no place whatsoever to this kind of discourse in our lives. Not that it is a great surprise to hear that particular person doing so, and it is certainly difficult to think that there is any fear of God where he is. We, in the Reform Movement, have already repeatedly experienced his inability to conduct a sensible and respective debate. Just like in the stories of Abraham and Isaac he does not learn that the use of his wicked language does not reflect whatsoever on the person he choses to attack. Rather, they do teach about him as someone who lacks the fear of God. And it is unfortunate that he is not the only one in that gang, and at times not even the most viscous in that crowd.

A political, religious, or professional debate are all legitimate as long as they are conducted within an acceptable guideline realizing that the other person is within their full right to voice a different opinion. It is fine to argue to the point but not to the person. It is unfortunate that during the last years we are experiencing the exact opposite. Just look and see what happens in the discourse regarding COVID vaccines and lockdowns. In many cases the discourse ceases to be responsible and factual and becomes loud, aggressive, personal and offensive. Many years ago, when Eliezer Weiner Z’l, a past treasurer of this congregation, passed away, the late Dr. Yosef Burg, who was minister of interior affairs from Mizrahi, delivered an obituary at his newly dug grave. Fully knowing that this was a Reform ceremony, he made the comment that the problem now adays is in the fact that the religious person is more fearful of what his neighbor says than from God. That is what happens when there is “no fear of God in this place”.

It is our task to completely and fundamentally change this attitude. We must take the word “no” out of this sentence. We must build a society revere of God resides everywhere.

Shabbat Shalom, Chodesh Tov, and wishes for Good Health.

Reuven Marko, 5 November 2021, 1 Kislev 5782

[1] Genesis 26 1, 7-10 [2] Genesis 20 1-5 [3] Genesis 20 9-10 [4] Genesis 26 11 [5] Genesis 20 6-7 [6] Genesis 20 11